Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We are all done wearing pants today
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
