The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
