woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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