I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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