By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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