a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
