What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
