Got a toothbrush?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
In America we eat man semen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
