how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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