I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
