haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
