A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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