Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
