all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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