You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
