Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
