she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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