Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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