My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
