The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize