he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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