i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
