are you still at the devil's house?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
