I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize