how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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