I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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