my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My bed smells like the plague
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
