and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
