i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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