I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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