So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
