I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
