One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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