omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
