bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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