There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
