East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he thought i was a dude.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
