Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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