We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
