DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
