I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it hurts more in the daytime
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
