Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize