I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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