see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
