She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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