You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
