I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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