I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I need water and some morals
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