can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize