Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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