I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize