so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
