Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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