You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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