Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
