If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
