so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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