I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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