I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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