so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
