got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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