we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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