Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
