just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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