my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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