he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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