Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
