I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
