so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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