i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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