Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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