I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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