She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
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Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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