pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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